The discussion on ways to find a spanking partner this week made me reflect on my own situation. The obvious dawned on me. It was easy for us to have multiple play partners as we view spanking as a whole meal. We do not need to add a side order of FLR or anything else. This was critical for me, as most women don't care to play with male switches for fear of being asked to punish them like they are his Mommy.
Spanking is fun and is sexual foreplay for us. She gets turned on being spanked and spanking me. Ditto for me.
I saw a picture the other day of two guys waiting to be spanked. Both had limp dicks. That would not be me. I would either be erect or heading out the door as something is going on that has spoiled the scene for me. It could be something she had done, it could be the room is frigid or something else that turns me off.
We may be exceptions.
I'm fairly sure there are plenty among the Spanko crowd who see it from your perspective Bogey, primarily as a sex drive and a complete meal. Spanking is 'sexy' on some level to the vast majority of spanking enthusiasts I've ever known. Yet, some don't see it as sex at all; their perception of it however as 'complete' being the same as yours. The only explanation I can see is there being layers and more levels to it than just sex alone. Not everyone reacts physically in the same way as you do, or at least in the same sequence? The less physical responses might be harder to understand what their enjoyment is from giving or getting a spanking might be, but it very much can still be there and as deeply satisfying as your own.
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah, yeah. The reason I posted this: It was easy for us to have multiple play partners as we view spanking as a whole meal. You have not experienced being turned down to play because the woman fears what male switches want.
DeleteNo I haven't, that's true. Eventually, we can hope enlightened thinking will dispel the preconceived failures to understand what being a Switch is really about; the tendency to lump all switches together, assume reciprocity is even desired, or my favorite? Asserting all switches are closet subs. What a crock of... oh, well. Can't fix what Ron White suggested. The prejudice you mention certainly exists though, so I understand your concern and point.
DeleteBefore the first party we attended, I had no idea of the prejudice toward male switches. It was like a slap in the face. It took me some months to change some minds. I still bear animosity not toward the women, but toward the men who want a helluva lot more than a spanking. I don't like being stuffed in the same barrel with them. Frankly, many things they want done to them are offensive to me.
DeleteVery true Tex, I know that for me there are times that like with Bogey I look forward to and anticipate the spankings to come to be an act to enhance sexual mood for me and her, and thus I am like many a Rod hard spanking enthusiast. they get my juices running by the spankings going on. There are other times when a spanking is needed for stress relief or just for fun like shits and grins. In these instances, I am not hard at all as the spanking is for fun and not sexual enhancement. I do know also that if women came at me trying to incorporate a FLR scene that would not happen
DeleteThe thing is, being a spanking enthusiast is like going to a restaurant you love, you pick from the menu what you want. If you decide you don't like something, you pass on it. But, you are never required to have a sample of each and everything on the menu unless you sign up for it. As was posted on this site years ago, "Spanking is complicated". It sure is, just like we humans are.
ReplyDeleteSpanking and switching are components of sexual/psychological behaviour which covers a wide range of human activities. In other words, it's a complex area, as varied as the people who practice it. I may have misinterpreted Bogey on the point that there is a world of difference between a male sub and a switch. While it appears that the psycho-sexual drivers are similar there are deep seated differences. But again, everyone must walk their own path through life.
ReplyDeleteMorning Peter, I am going to take another run describing all this as it pertains to ME.
DeleteMeanwhile, for me, there is a world of difference between a male sub and a switch. A male switch just wants his bottom warmed. That's me. I want to be paddled much like I paddle women. I am not submissive, she is not dominant. She is doing. what I have asked her to do. In the same way, as she has asked me to do her. My wife and I are both Alpha's.
A male sub can want a lot more than a spanking. The list is long, but punishment, humiliation, denial, being caged, having his dick whipped could be things that he desires. These are things that most women want no part of. But pros make a living doing.
Exactly, we are of one mind. That is one of the reasons Spankeefinder never carried profiles for dommes, there is a physiological and cultural differences between a switch and a sub. There is a female equivalent although owing to the common use of the word 'submissive' it can seem that there is little difference.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have never thought of myself as being a subbie. And if you met me, you would not either.
ReplyDeleteThey don't work out well in the workplace as they need too much hand-holding.