I posted on this topic last month. I am not done with it.
My ongoing number one spanking peeve is that men and women pretend that spanking is able to change behavior. This is a fantasy.
Some women will do something to earn a spanking. It is usually is not malicious, but gives a reason to be spanked, and the man feels he is helping her. He has been played. I was played in high school.
She can profess to be sorry and that she will never do it again - until she needs to be spanked again.
Commercial spanking videos perpetuate this BS, depicting women being corrected for dire deeds like being late to cheer practice.
That spanking can change behavior - Ridiculous
A long time ago, I was in a spanking group. People joined the group to spank and be spanked. I posted a video clip on bdsmlr. It shows a woman who asked to be paddled getting what she asked for. No role play, no scoalding, just a damn fine paddling. Maybe this link will allow you to view it. 20 licks with a paddle over slacks.
Some men will comment on such a video
I would have taken her pants down. Yeah? Maybe she did not ask for that.
I would paddle her twice as long. She got exactly what she asked for. Whose is in control here, you or her?
These types of comments indicate to me that they have zero experience in spanking. They have no respect for women. They view them as inferior. They are the types who will abuse women, including beating them to death.
More peeves:
Corner time, mouth soaping
Spanks that land too high or too low
Diapers
Spanks that land too high is one of my pet peeves.... another is two-handed swinging like a baseball bat.
ReplyDeleteFor me, role play is part of spanking. Someone’s behavior is being corrected. I love to be lectured when I’m being spanked and being forced to confess and apologize. We seldom do corner time, but I’m often strapped to the bed, blindfolded, after a spanking - I’ll take a nap before Irene returns for sexual activity.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that some online material is over the top in severity and I also find some activities disturbing. Sometimes I think to each his/her own, sometimes I think that’s just plain weird.
You wrote "For me, role play is part of spanking. Someone’s behavior is being corrected."
ReplyDeleteTo me, role play is just that play, acting out a part. So I fail to understand that behavior can be corrected through role play.
Maybe that is because I reject spanking as a means to correct behavior.
I also think to each his/her own. But in this case, I am speaking out against it as i have since I started OBB in 2007. As I can see no positive benefit.
Yeah, I think some things are just plain weird.
Any behavior correction for us is part of role play, and pretty much a joke. I’ll promise to follow her rules, not peek up skirts, do a better job washing her panties or whatever. Irene will tell me the spanking may last a day or two but she’s sure she’ll have to do it all over again. Nothing about is serious, though we pretend it is. We’ve worked it out pretty nicely without a lot of discussion, but we don’t avoid talking about it either.
DeleteAh, OK. You confused me using role play and correction in the same sentence. Not much role play for us. We ask for what we want.
DeleteI have done role play with other women. I am a ham and like to act. And lord knows girls love to act from 2 onwards. I was a strict uncle to five "nieces" (three came as a package and two more joined later) A short version. One wanted to follow the rules she made for herself. Such as being off the computer before 11. So of course, not much time went by before she sent me an email after midnight. It was partly a test. Was I paying attention? I had to act very strict and wear her fanny out.
I should blog about my time as a priest to fulfill her need to play out her attempted seduction of a man of the collar. Amazing what goes on in their heads.
Wow. It's almost as though these people have different ideas of what they like. Madness. Next thing you know, people will be eating things I don't like or watching movies I don't care for. Sheer anarchy.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand getting all worked up over other people's sexual preferences and practices. Unless I'm directly involved, what does it matter to me? Long as it's legal and consensual, it's not up to me to judge. It's a big world out there, with lots of different tastes. Some appeal, some don't, some are new to me and look interesting enough to give it a try.
There's no "right" way to indulge a spanking fetish, doing something different from someone else doesn't detract from their own experience or somehow make their choices invalid. To some folks, we're ALL freaks and perverts, no matter how we like our spankings. Let's not help those people by turning on each other.
Just as so many claim that spanking needs to be discipline/punishment. I call it BS. Those people have their POV. I have mine and I express it just like they do.
DeleteMy take on this comes from both being and having a disciplinarian. Spanking does not correct behavior. Again spanking does not correct behavior. The idea of discipline from my point of view and experience is that reinvorces beavior that impacts someones life in a negative manner. It does not correct the behavior. The person being disciplined changes their behavior, not because of the spankings but because they needed some external motvivation to do so.
ReplyDeleteMy rule of thumb if they didn't self correct their behavior after two spankings, they didn't want the change in the first place and the spankings stopped. Yes there are men and women who do things intentionally to be spanked, have done so myself, but what was given or received had nothing to do with being disciplined no matter how hard the spanking was. It was jkust a spanking pure and simple.
What I found worked best for any type of behavior modification are mantienence spankings or attitude adjustments. These kind of spankings are simply reminders to stay focused on things that the person being spanked desires to maintain balance in thier lives. Maybe a set of rules they want to be held accountable for and yes even theraputic spankings are beneficail. And by theraputic in name only they do not take the place of theropy and if someone is asking to be spanked for things that require theraphy only an idiot would do so. What they can do is calm a person or allow them for that space in time to simply relax and take their minds of a troubling matter.
I have done and given corner time when it has been as part a funishment or role play but never after punishment. I do not belive ion soaping. It's disguting and to me unsafe and serves no purpose.
And for people who think spanking videos refelect real life over fantesy... just a huge SMDH.
I agree with most of what you wrote Spanky. Imagine anyone agreeing with anyone about anything these days. Thanks for commenting.
Delete"20 licks with paddle over slacks" -- I only counted 15 licks. But still loved the video.
ReplyDeleteSpanking may not change behavior, but it can make you wish you did not do what got you spanked. Has nothing to do with preventing anything, but just paying for what you earned as in losing a bet.
ReplyDeleteMy pet peeve is hair pullers. Spoils a lot of pictures for me to see someone holding the hair while giving a spanking.
I loved the video too! I have never been much for mouthsoaping or hair pulling. Just not my thing. That said, I do think there is a fairly large segment of us who do feel spanking can change behavior. I think its a matter of individual needs/ wants in TTWD. Not so much right or wrong.
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of hair pulling until I was 50 or so. I asked my wife, and she was also clueless. I asked several women. Found out some like it.
DeleteThere is a fairly large segment that feels spanking can change behavior. That does not mean they are correct in their beliefs. I have zero interest in spanking a gal with anything but fun in my heart. As I mentioned before, thinking they will force her to "behave" puts them above her. Male superiority. That can lead to abuse. So I don't buy into our doing our own thing when that thing can lead to superiority and abuse.
The likes on my Reddit comment about men placing too much emphasis on punishment/discipline have gotten a lot of attention from women. They seem to just go along with being punished, rather than telling them how they feel about it.
A lot of spankers need to have heart-to-hearts with the women they spank. They just might learn that the popular thought is BS.
I have discussed this point many times with women I have spanked and I have met no one who has said, "I need spanked for punishment or discipline" in the serious sense. I have roleplayed this many times but its always tongue in cheek. I have met those who love a good hard spanking but there is always an undercurrent of play. That said, I do think there is a subset of spankos who ARE in need of this ( maybe more men than women) but I haven't met them.
ReplyDeleteI can fully agree with both points. 1) That you have never encountered any women who desire discipline. Me either. There are men who want to be punished and kicked in the balls. See the series "Dying for Sex". I don't care to meet them.
Delete