Bonnie recently had a Brunch on ways to ask for a spanking. I neglected to check MBS in time to ring in. In the early days of our marriage, this was a dilemma for me. I expected Becall to read my mind and paddle me when and how I wanted it. This was never a problem for her, as she always spoke up if she felt needy. It took me years to get my mind twisted around and ask for what I wanted. It sure has gone better for me since I abandoned the expectation of mind reading.
I liked how one lass responded: .. I just plonk myself over his lap and tell him I need a spanking.
OTOH, there were several women who said asking for a spanking spoils it for them.
…I have to "deserve" it, by misbehaving in some way.
…I need to "deserve it" also. I will not just ask. What's the fun in that? I'll "misbehave" in some fashion that I know will get me spanked.
It seems that males who like to bottom also like the excuse of needed punishment rather than asking for it judging by the Blogs and stories I have read.
I understand. Been there. But, I have come to prefer the openness of expressing what I want to get and what I want to give. Most of our sessions start with one of us saying what we want or what we propose to give. This is sometimes followed by a counter-proposal. I suppose this is called topping from the bottom, but it is what we have come to enjoy.
Bonnie closed with what I consider some sage advise: …I still occasionally bring him a paddle. There's something to be said for being clear and direct.
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Last week Becall said she wanted a joint action paddling this week. This morning over coffee, she asked me if it would be convenient to do in the morning before she goes to the doctor. We made a date.