We have written several posts about spanking parties. If you care to read them, just click on ‘Spanking Parties” in the right margin. One of the posts What Happens at Spanking Parties? is fairly descriptive of our experiences.
Why this was on my wee mind again is that I recently read that several women had put attending a party on their bucket list. So I thought I would offer my opinions on the subject. I will do so speaking as the man of a couple. I have no experiences in any other capacity. I would not presume to speak with any precision of what a single person needs to know about such parties.
Most of the parties we have been to have been private affairs. We have only been to two public parties. We definitely prefer private to public. One reason is that the public ones tend to be heavily attended and if you don’t know the people, you could be left in the dust. It helps the man if he has one or more spankable bottoms with him. Most of the action takes place in suites. If you are invited good. If not, you may wish you had saved your money. We have heard that from a lot of folks. That is certainly true of the grand daddy of them all Shadow Lane.
Some public parties have more single males than single females. Regrettably, it always seems that when this happens, the men are not exactly Sean Connery look-a-likes.
Not that many married couples attend parties.
Most of the men are courteous and respect limits.
If you are into spanking, but not so much the many aspects of BDSM, be careful about parties hosted at dungeons. You may see more than you care to see. I mean after you have seen a man pulling a cart tethered to his scrotum once, it may get old. You will also find more of the slaves and masters crowd. If you want to be tied to St. Andrews cross and flogged this would be your venue. Bacall loves to show off. If you want to better understand this, may I suggest you read the chapter Spanking vs. BDSM in Erica Scott’ new book Late Bloomers.
Body shape: All shapes will be represented. Some groups seem to have moreRubenesque folks. Something to try and ascertain in advance if this is a concern.
Dress: Men would do well to dress in what I call business casual: nice slacks, ironed shirt, shined shoes. Suits are desirable in some venues.
The REALLY BIG CAVET about parties is jealousy. If your relationship can not tolerate your mate playing nude with a person of the opposite sex behind closed doors, you should rethink your party plans. I can empahsize this enough.
I hope that other bloggers will post something about what to expect at parties, do’s and dont’s, etc. Parties can open a window in you that you did not know existed.
Our party days are over. We were not getting much out of them. Sure I can dress black-on-black and spank women all night. However, such activity gets me revved up to be spanked. And there are damn few women who really want to top. A few will, but their heart is not into it and that is worse than no spanking at all.
I have attended medium sized spanking parties, 60 people, organized by the club I belong to: SCONY. I was able to chat on line with other members before the first party. We formed a connection before we met in person. I believe it is very important to have friends at a party. They are social events as much as spanking
parties and it can be very lonely if you do not know anyone before you
attend a party.
It is very important to be respectful and polite to everyone at the party.
Connect with bottoms and tops and get to know people first before you ask
them to play. Be clean and ensure your clothing is on the dressy side of
business casual. Very clean or new boxer shorts or briefs are a must. Try
not to drink alcohol even if you are nervous. That is a big turnoff to the
participants at the party.
If you do play, it is wise not to brat to the top. They may find it
annoying and not cute or witty.
Most of my spanking play is with my wife, but the above comments are what I
have learned as a male bottom playing at a party.
Ladies. Please play safe. A public spanking party will often provide a safer
environment than one on one play especially for a first time experience.
Spankos have no tolerance for bad behavior! As a group, we are very
protective of the ladies present in the room.
We do need more posts like this. The big parties can be overwhelming even
for veterans, so newbies can certainly feel like they're experiencing
Most of the big parties have some sort of newbie gathering/mixer, either
given by the hosts or by a generous guest. I encourage anyone attending
their first party to avail themselves of these if possible.
Network as much as you can beforehand, get to know some people online. It
And above all, go with an open mind and no set expectations. You really
have no idea what it's going to be like until you're there. Smile. Wear
what makes you feel good. And remember, everyone else is as nervous as you
are, more or less.