In a long-ago era of my life, I spanked a gal who visibly went into a submissive state at the mere hint that it was time for me to spank her.
Our usual meeting was an extended lunch. I would pick her up in my van and we would park in one of the nearby parks and eat our sack lunch. The back of the van had a king bed.
Our lunch conversation was light banter, never about spanking. I never sought to be dominant with her or anyone, for that matter. Perhaps I paused or did some tell when I thought it was time to spank her. In a second, her smile faded, her eyes dropped and she totally relaxed. We went to the bed she lay across my lap.
I never sought out submissive women. She was my only encounter, and I did not seek to expand it. After a year or so, she hooked up with a guy in another city. She told me I would need his permission to continue to spank her. [You can imagine how that went over with me.] She divorced her husband, moved in with her Dom, and became his slave. Another year goes by, and he acquires a crazy one. (I knew, she was, as I had a brief spanking affair with her. She was a therapist under the care of a psychiatrist. Did you get that?)
The crazy one outs him and causes all sorts of drama. His wife wakes up and divorces him.
I view submission as a mental issue. It is very strong in some women. I knew of one woman who left her husband and her two young kids and moved to another state to be collared - to anyone. Wound up being a sub to a lesbian with a mean streak. Did you get that? She left her young kids.
Some men seek submissive women. They are welcome to them.
Like all things in life, moderation is the key. One of my early spanking encounters was a lovely woman who loved to be spanked but also went into sub space quite often while we played. We always played within whatever limits were set. But she met a guy(DOM) who was located across the pond and she fell for him.
ReplyDeleteShe divorced her husband, and went to him. A couple years later she was back, it turned out HE was a JACKASS who thought he could mistreat her. I have never wanted to "OWN" anyone in the DOM sense. It goes a step too far for me too.
I don't care to own anyone. And I will not be owned or told what to do. When spanking leaves the giggles and grin space, I also leave.
DeleteYes moderation is the key.
ReplyDeleteI’m pretty much submissive, for a few hours per week. It works for us. For me it’s the ultimate for of relaxation to forgo any and all responsibilities.
Submission in males seems to differ from females. Tho I can begin to explain the difference.
DeleteModeration in most things seems the way to go.
Bacall sometimes wants to be submissive. She will tell me the day before and spend the next 24 hours turning her alpha ways to submissive. The submission lasts about one hour.
It depends on how one defines submissive, or rather the specific form of submission. It is my experience that the more strong minded women are best able to reflect this be submissive, and are more likely to zone out during a spanking. The key here is that for them the submission is temporary and as a direct consequence of being spanked. They are therefore not submissive women but rather women who become submissive in a specific context. A dimension that should not be overlooked is that a partner may choose to be submissive as a consequence of the chemistry in the relationship. On balance, Bogey's preferences seem to reflect this definition, neither of us taking to women who are a human doormat.
ReplyDelete"They are therefore not submissive women but rather women who become submissive in a specific context. "
DeleteThat's Bacall as I tried to explain in my reply to Roscoe. She is a bedroom submissive when she wants to be. I get little out of it. I have learned my role, and I hit my marks for her. It always includes bondage. Something else that does nothing for me, but a lot for her.
One thing that amuses me is playing to her force fantasy. For instance, I will tell her the next six licks are going to be really hard and not to move. She will say, "Do I have to". And when I tell her Yes, she "wilts". That is as good for me as giving her an explosive orgasm.
To define submission as being a mental issue is dissmissively broad. My experience with submissive women has been that it takes a GREAT deal of strength to be a submissive, not momntary or situational. Submission is desire to give over to allow for a power exchange to be a part of play or a dynamic.
ReplyDeleteThe submissive women I know are tnhe strogest women I play with or have/had a relationship/dynamic with. They are well defined, accomplished and comfortable in who they are. Many are buisness owners, corporate execs, lawyers and doctors. And they far from doormats. Does the doormat just abuse me types exist out there, both male and female, yes. But to be truly submissive is a choice that someone makes as strong as the desire or need to be a Top/ Dom. It is a choice made with thought and clarity.
The fact that there are examples as you've pointed out it isn't the norm that I have experienced. Crazy exisits out there. Abusive ass-hats Tops/Doms exist out there. Women and men looking for excape routes out of bad relationships isa problem with the whole kink commun ity tpo the exact extent it is in the real world. Those people are not true kinksters but the real people/ submissives get tared unfairly with that brush.
"To define submission as being a mental issue is dissmissively broad"
DeleteI think you are correct. Since I do not seek submissive women, my experience has been wholly with the crazies who are mental.
"Women and men looking for escape routes out of bad relationships is a problem with the whole kink community to the exact extent it is in the real world"
That rings true. Your analysis covers the broad spectrum. I was focused only on my personal experiences. Excellent comment.
Exactly as I always take what you posts. It's honest off you to state your lived experiences. It's your honest representation. All we can do is give our perspectives. People won't always agree and that's how the realty of what we do comes through.
Delete