This is an edited version of an on-going conversation I have had with a woman who was spanked by her parents, established a relationship with an "Aunt and Uncle" before she married and is also spanked by her husband. The spankings by her "Aunt and Uncle" are for stress relief. Similar to the ones she got from her parents, they take her to her panic button quickly. The spankings from her husband are erotic.
On tears - It is not so much the pain that makes me cry when I get a real spanking, it is mostly my mindset when it happens. I want the release so I'm ready to just 'let go' and I don't try to hold back. I know not everyone needs tears, but they do make me feel better. To me, adult spankings should be whatever a person wants and need to be satisfied.
I'll be honest, I can write things down that I'd never be able to say to someone about spankings. Its a lot easier to express my feelings to you, and I can only imagine the embarrassment I'd feel trying to say them in person. I've talked to a couple of other women who want real punishment spankings sometimes too, so I'm not alone in that, but I would guess we are in the minority. I don't think of them as 'punishment' in the same sense it was when I was spanked as a teenager. Then I deserved to be disciplined for my misbehavior, but now they're really my way of coping with emotional issues. I have a difficult time of letting go of sad and stressful things, and they sort of grate on me after awhile. A hard spanking isn't going to kill me, but crying my eyes out does help on the emotional side, and its a lot cheaper than a therapist. LOL I think my husband would give me those spankings if I asked him to, but I know he really doesn't want to. I was seeing my 'uncle' before I even met him, and when I figured out he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I told him everything. Thankfully he understood why I needed them so it hasn't been an issue for us. He's met my disciplinarian, and usually goes with me when I need to see him. He's watched me get spanked a couple of times, but most often he sits in the next room until its over.
You asked about anticipation and there is definitely quite a bit of that. Not sexual like with my husband, but I will admit there is a certain excitement that builds up when I know I'm going to see him, my "uncle". Maybe excitement is the wrong word because its more like anxiety or a little feeling of dread, but I still get the butterflies in my stomach and feel that certain tingle in my bottom before it happens. A lot of the feelings are the same as when my Dad spanked me, but now I have a lot longer to think about them. I schedule a visit at least a week or two ahead so it gives me plenty of time for my imagination to run amuck and make me want to change my mind!
I never purposely did anything to get a spanking while at home, but I knew if I got caught doing them I would get spanked, so maybe subconsciously I wanted to get spanked. I definitely didn't enjoy being turned over Dad's knee, and I certainly didn't accept them very well. I think if we had been outside, everyone within two miles would have known Daddy was blistering my bare bottom! LOL