Foolishness since 2007

Foolishness since 2007
Foolishness since 2007

Monday, August 3, 2015

Sexual Aggression

z eyes

There are many differences between men and women, but I am pondering if the reluctance of women to spank men is cultural or “in the DNA”. Of course, there are men who are reluctant to spank women. So it’s not strictly a F/M thing. But, women are much more resistant to spanking men than the other way around.

Female sexual aggression has never been very common in western culture. Though it’s seems to be  more common in the last two decades, there is still room for equality - if that is a direction women want to take. There are men who want women in control.

I don’t think I have ever read a story or blog written by a women about spanking a man for mutual pleasure. [I discount those written by men posing as women] Do you know of any?

There are exceptions, but it just does not seem to be in the “DNA” of women to be the aggressor, the dominate one. I am ignoring the instances where the woman is intoxicated and comes on verbally or physically strong.  I am focused on women assuming the dominate role in spanking scene. The once in awhile variety, not a lifestyle. Call it bedroom dominance. Perhaps there is complete equality outside the bedroom door, but inside she sometimes likes to take control for her own pleasure. Other times, she quite content to be “dominated”.

Some possible reasons women are not dominate include:

  • Destroying her image of the man as the dominate
  • Social conditioning
  • Reluctance to hurt him
  • Fear of being perceived as “bitchy”
  • Afraid he will resist
  • No practice in leading

Another reason women may be reluctant is that so many men truly want to be submissive all the time. The man is not interested in switching. AND, spanking is not the only thing they want, they want to be humiliated, denied orgasm, have their cocks locked up and a lot of other things done to them that make me squirm. I think these men make it difficult for those that just enjoy a paddling to be accepted. Maybe it’s men who don’t know how to approach a woman to spank them?

I know there are women who get off on hurting and humiliating men. I sure am not talking about them. I am wondering how many women there are who can assume the dominate role over a man and spank him in a way she knows he will enjoy and at the same time look forward to it and relish her role.

000000000I really doubt many woman have ever thought this 

My wife and I have been paddling each other since we met. We switch. I am happy on either side of the paddle. While she gets satisfaction from giving me what I want and she delights in hearing the paddle crack on me, she is rarely really dominate. For instance, I know that I have to control my reaction to the paddling or else she may decide that she is really hurting me and ease up. She sees that as love.

That said, she has on a few occasions paddled men and women to settle a beef she had with them. That tells me that she has a basic level of dominance in her and that when provoked it will come out. A few times I have said something like “Is that all you have?” and then wished I had kept my masochist mouth shut.

I have tried to play with a few women who said they liked to switch. Only one delivered. The others had no idea how to use a paddle, and proved it, for instance, by hitting me on the side so that I had to stop the scene right there.

When I spank a women and I endeavor to take her exactly where she needs to go, I get a top’s high when she tells me afterwards of her happy landing. Those moments of cuddling and intimate verbal expression last for days. I wonder if some women ever feel that way after spanking a guy? I mean women are quite confident in showing off their skills in giving a BJ and hearing how good they were. If they got similar feedback could they feel just as good about paddling a guy?


I am curious about the female take on this.

How do you approach paddling a man? What do you get out of it?


Why do you avoid spanking men?


I generally pan captioned pictures, but this one works for this article.



  1. (Rising briefly from lurkerdom.) There's a book called The Switch, by Diane Whiteside, that has a mostly-dominant woman who seeks pleasure for both her and her partner. I agree there's not much out with that dynamic, which is a pity, because I enjoy it. It's one of the reasons I enjoy your blog so much.

  2. My wife will not go as far as I would like when spanking or caning me but I have come to accept it. She is happy for me to be submissive at home but not in public. Yes she probably does not want her husband to be seen as hen pecked. I am very happy to play the different roles. Nice image. Love the smile and the hair.

  3. My wife and I are equals outside the bedroom. From my observations she prefers for me to be dominant in the bedroom. After a discussion we had recently she began spanking me at my request. At first I could tell her heart wasn't in it. It seems to be getting better and I hope with time she will feel confident enough to own that role. I like when she is dominant on occasion but she just doesn't seem to have it in her for whatever reason.

  4. I am a spankee and submissive by nature. Not sure if i am hardwired that way or conditioned by lifes influences. Having said that I am not incapable of learning. If I were to be taught the correct way of spanking and had someone who was male and was interested I don't think I would have an issue with giving a spanking. I don't think I would get anything from it but knowing I was making someone happy pleasing them and giving them what they want and need. Now that feeling may change if that person was a lover or husband or at the actual time because I can only guess how i would feel until I actually were in that situation. I think the reasons you gave for women not wanting to were the most valid and correct. I don't see myself as a dominatrix in any fashion I don't have the authority type attitude and voice that comes with being dominant No one fears me and I don't have the take charge take no crap attitude that comes with being a dominant. I have been told from those I talked to here if i were to spank a man it would be more of a motherly loving type spanking not a humiliating and degrading type spanking. Also since being here i have learned spanking is an artform it is an emotional connection and the spanker must know what they are doing you can not grab an implement or even use the hand and just begin wailing away at a butt you can hurt someone not in a good way as you mentioned and then who has fun. I would need to be educated and have some practice and not just start whacking at a butt. I see men and the authority figure the one in charge I see women as equal I know that puts womens liberation back 100 years so be it. But I know I don't do well in control or in charge. I am better at following directions then giving them. Then there are men here i have talked to that said yes over a womans knee is the only place they want to be and wont spank. Some will be happy giving or receiving either way. Then there are those that are oh hell no if he isn't spanking he isn't happy and he will never have a red bottom himself. I think it is just general preference what each person is willing to allow themselves to be submitted to and comfortable with. Mary

  5. My natural spanking bent is as a daughter. I get real spankings for real offenses. However, because I know and understand the need for a good spanking, I have spanked men who wanted it. Since I am a mother, I have no problem getting into the dominant maternal role and letting a man have it either for discipline or for fun. I will tell you that I don't have the 'desire' to spank, but, once I get into it, I thoroughly it. I've also been told that I do a very good job of it, too. Want a sample?


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