This rambling post came about from multiple inspirations. First, Ronnie asked what others liked about spanking. This is what I posted to her blog.
We like the anticipation, the teasing reminders that can go on for minutes, hours or days before. Dressing for a paddling - putting on special clothes, underwear just for the event. Discussing which toys will be used. Perhaps a walk to the wood shed. The white hot sting. Getting so revved up you ravish each other.
That explains what we like, but does not explain how we get there. That’s what I attempt in this post. Well, for myself at least. I will let Bacall write her own account. She is much less complicated than I am. That will have to wait until she gets her cast off.
I Like My Paddler’s Smiling
When I paddle, I am happy. The harder I paddle the bigger the grin I have. When the paddle cracks and she grips the bedspread and squeezes hard while her breath escapes, then pushes her bottom right back out for the next lick I am happy. I am giving her what she wants and I am enjoying every second of it. Simply put, I enjoy making it good for her. The more she likes what I am giving, the more I like giving it. Is that sadistic?
Likewise, I like my spankers to enjoy putting the wood to me. I want them eager and enthusiastic. I want them to make me squirm and be damn happy when they do.
I like to see women holding the paddle they are going to use on me. [I also like to see them holding the paddle I am going to use on them]
Punishment Or Discipline Are Turn-offs For Me
So I do not want to be scolded. My ideal spanker is one who is gleefully sadistic. One who smiles and tells me that she is going to burn my bottom up and then proceeds to do just that. She takes pride in hearing the paddle crack forcefully squarely across the fullness of my bottom. She does not flinch when I react to the pain She is firm and ensures the session is business like. But she also has a sense of humor. It's breathtaking to hear her to tell me to assume a novel position or not to move until she tells me I can.
My Oddity - Processing The Sting
I am really odd. I can not access sub space. After two dozen or so licks, I get numb and the licks do not sting at all. They are just a dull thud. Boring. What I like is about 20 well laid on paddle licks. Each bright white hot lick goes right through me and lodges itself in my erect self.
No OTK For Me, Thanks
While OTK is the preferred position for both men and women, it’s not for us. Bacall likes to put her knees on a couch and rest her arms and head on the back of the couch. I am happy to lean over a bed with my elbows on the mattress. [Other favored positions include, assuming the position, hands on the wall, bending over a desk, bench or chair, the Down Dog lotus position and knees and head on the floor with her standing over me]
OTK is difficult for me, because in my mind when my erection is pressed against legs or anything else, it will go soft quickly. I think it works just the opposite for other men. Also, when Bacall has me OTK, she likes to paddle hard and fast and it over powers me. It’s really like punishment.
Simpatico - Paddling Is Sexy
I am going to talk about the elephant in room. I was chatting with a young lady about spanking. We are of like minds, simpatico, in how we view spanking. That is it’s sexy, that it feels good, that we don’t need to act out to be spanked and we both switch. [No thoughts of meeting her as she is younger than our daughter and lives a country away from us]
I volunteered that I could not enjoy a spanking if I did not have an erection. Without a boner it would be pain. Somehow the sexual excitement converts the pain to pleasure. I am a hedonist. I want pleasure.
This presents a little problem. I am old school. I consider it crude to display one’s wiener, unless it’s a) for consensual sex or b) a spanking where the woman is comfortable with it because she knows the man is excited by the upcoming spanking and is that the man is not expecting a).
She said she was always took an erection as a compliment, not as a expectation. Good on her.
A woman that enjoys this type of spanking and with this mindset is rare. I will call it my ideal spanking encounter with a woman other than my wife. I would not exclude Bacall, in fact it would be even better with her there.
Dressing For Play
I like to dress for a spanking and I expect the spanker to do likewise.
I am a panty freak. I like to wear panties or panty girdles. No other feminine attire. I like it best when we are both in matching panties or panty girdles. Getting dressed a little before play starts builds anticipation.
I want some preliminary conversation. Some time talking about what we are about to do. At some point, I want for her to show me the paddle she is going to use – to hold it in her hand, smiling, as she describes how she is going to paddle me. This would also be good time to divest clothing. She would have me take off everything but my panties. Now she can see what effect the setting is having on me. I would want her to shed some clothes, but not everything.
By this time, I should ready to bend over and take my licks.
The batten on my legs once a month is about right. When used on the front of my legs, I like to be told to keep my hands on my head and to raise my leg up for each lick. When my legs are stinging, then it’s time for the paddling.
A few times a year, Bacall likes to use our red paddle applied the way she likes to use it – OTK hard and fast. I try to stay in position, but usually can not.
Our Principal’s and Teacher’s paddles are always good choices. The heavier Principal’s is used first to give a deep burn that will be felt hours later. The Teacher’s paddle stings the skin and is really hard to take because of the top burn it gives.
Summary - What Makes It Work For Me
1) The top's demeanor. "Professional" and cordial. I am going to light your bottom up, I am going to enjoy doing it and I see no reason to project anything other than delight while I attend to you. Being gleefully sadistic would describe it.
2) Appearance. Most any outfit works for me. What would not work would be very casual attire such as sweat pants. A skirt is good. A glimpse of stocking tops is great. Lingerie is even better. I admit the clicking of heels on a hard floor adds excitement. Nudity is not a turn on.
3) Words. The discussion of what is to come, the order to assume a position, etc. It’s the speaking to the mind that makes up most of what is going on.
4) You take charge and remove my pants and panties. This is a good time to tease me about the paddling, to teasingly rub me.
5) I should be told what position to assume for the paddle. In a bent over position please. OTK is punishment to me. Over a low table, a chair, a desk, a bed, on my knees. Heck anything, but OTK.
6) I want it short and sweet. No warm-up and all on the bare bottom. Not that many licks, but hard ones, with serious paddles that push me. All licks should be given full force with a few seconds between them so I can compose myself. 20 to 30 licks are enough. I go numb after that.
I should not be allowed to stand up. If I stand up, I should be warned that if I do it again, I will get extra licks. Two with the black slapper on my legs should get me to focus on staying in position.
7) A good paddling is one that while I am getting it I have trouble staying in position. I wiggle around, I stand up, I exclaim, etc. That behavior simply means I am getting what I want.
The paddling itself might be best represented by a discipline paddling by a HS Principal. Hard licks with good size paddle. They never gave warm-up licks. The adult version of such a paddling starts on a bare bottom.
Not an unexpected result of a solid lick