I have long said that once two people admit to each other they have an interest in spanking, that is the last time they will be in full agreement. Everything after that is a compromise and up for negotiation. Maybe that is too strong, but I feel more true, than not.
So here I go again writing about things I know a little about and have less understanding of. [ending in a preposition, horrors]
Many of us say we are spanking purists and we are not into BDSM – whatever definition one wishes to ascribe to BDSM. But, other than the percussive arts, there are a lot of other things that some of us like to have served along with spanking. Most have to do with demonstrating who is in charge. Tops like to be in charge, and bottoms like a top in charge. There is always some dynamic going on, even if it’s never spoken of. Some one wants to surrender, but not without a token fight. The other seeks the surrender. Sometimes it’s the thrill of risk, of being discovered. Perhaps being discovered outdoors? Tied to tree and flogged. You say you are not into BDSM, but what about the cuffs, spreader bars and blindfolds you employ?
Hair pulling shows dominance, more than a few women like this. Rear entry sex is also quite popular when she is sporting a red bottom. It sure is around here.
Bacall and I have always viewed oral sex as just another way to give pleasure to the other. For a great many spanko’s it allows the submissive to show how grateful they are. It is also something that some sub’s do to worship their partner. The part I can not relate to is when the dominate demands oral sex. Why does oral sex need to be depicted as servitude? I see this a lot on F/M blogs. The man is punished and then the woman demands face time. I am never punished and oral sex is my choice. With so many blogs out there presenting it different from my desire and experience, I often feel I am in the minority. In some relationships, penetrative sex may not be allowed (or desired), while oral sex is “demanded” of the sub.
We are old school in that penetrative sex is much preferred to whatever other kind sex there may be. I do find it interesting that down through history many religions have proscribed sexual restrictions or celibacy while in other religions sex is elevated to a spiritual act. I see both being practiced by some FLR followers. Going without for long periods is just not in my DNA. In some FLR relationships I understand that cuckolding is desired by the man. I don’t get that. Of course, I don’t get that the Big Bang was noiseless either.
Things up the Hershey Highway are common such as enema’s, figging, dildo’s, etc. with more than a few spanko’s.
Men wearing panties and other fem attire is popular with a lot of men. I am fully onboard with wearing panties sometimes. I think it’s a little naughty and they feel good.
In pro films, discipline and punishment for things like bad report cards is way overdone. Gag me. On DD and FLR blogs someone is always getting spanked for having a poor attitude, not attending to house work, drinking too much, etc. It really is necessary to be spanked for a reason – however flimsy the reason may be. Can’t spanking be just for the fun of it? The pleasure it gives to both.
I learned on another blog that Redstrip Films has/had a free spanking clip. I watched it. It was cute. Both of the women were well dressed and one of them took a darn good spanking. (in my opinion) The thing that I most liked about the clip was that the women were mature. (for me, mature is 45 plus) Plus there were no tats, no piercings and no gawd awful red hair from a bottle)
Ending on another tack, a friend once gave Bacall a safe word of “I want to clean the house”. Since her play is all about it feeling good that safe word was all in good fun.