Jacqueline Omerta is a psychologist, pro-domme, wife, and self-confessed spanko. She is the author of "You Would If You Loved Him" written to help women understand the needs of submissive men.
Some things she has written:
“Never make him beg for fetish play. That's something he'll find off-putting and cause him to harbor resentment.”
I think that goes equally for men. Keep her well spanked. If she gets cranky, spank her some more. I also advocate asking for a spanking. It’s OK to be adult about it.
"Submissive males interpret humiliation as an expression of their devotion."
I think that goes for some women also. I can not relate to an adult need for humiliation. I read other Blogs where the men desire to be locked up and never get laid. They are allowed to service their wives orally. OK, but that is not in my world.
Something Mrs. Omerta said does make some sense to me. All of us have wondered where our fetish comes from. She said that fear and humiliation are so powerful it can become sexually linked. I know that I feared being paddled as a kid. I know that it was humiliating when other kids knew I was paddled. Perhaps this is where I got it? Or maybe that just psycho mumbo-jumbo?
"… Men do think and fantasize about other women….it's essential if you want to truly participate in his inner sexual world."
When I think about other women, it’s a partner for Bacall. Something like this.
It was common to have another teacher present to witness paddling's at my school. One teacher paddled, while the other watched. But, in my fantasy I like to have both wielding paddles. A few times, it has been real life. And don’t tell me women don’t get competitive.
"Bedroom Talk doesn't mean that you'll necessarily do everything you say. It's all about weaving a verbal fantasy about things you know he desires and thinks about in private."
Bacall is skilled in this. She can tell a story she knows will ring all my bells. The always begin with Once upon a time.