Asking For A Spanking – In our first married years, we did not ask each other for spankings. I relied on her to read my mind and Bacall used behavior. Neither worked very well for us. I was working full-time and carrying a full class load. I had only a few hours a week of down time and I usually did not use it to focus on her behavior. Her behavior was never bratty, but it was designed to get my attention to jerk her chain a little. Meanwhile, I was continually disappointed that she did not read my mind and paddle me more often.
Years later, when the kids were gone and life settled down for us, we gradually evolved to asking for what we want, when, where and how we want it. This works for us. Reading other Blogs, I seldom see any mention of this practice. Commonly, I read that some behavior is required for a spanking. Evidently, most people need a reason to spank or to be spanked.
I saw this in the Pink Report. It describes, not us, but some of us.
…. there are those of us who don’t actually like to be spanked. We want the lecture and the forgiveness, not the actual spanking. If we could skip it, we would. But the speech before and the reconciliation after would not feel the same without the submission and the spanking in the middle. We know it wouldn’t be the same without the spanking. Spanking is the taxi we hail to arrive at our destination.
Contrast this need with how Erica Scott likes it; spanking that takes her a blissful place divorced from sex.
We may be spanking enthusiasts, but we are all so different. It seems that the more we say after we say we like spanking, the farther apart we become.
Bacall writes: The most important thing for us is that we both have a good time. We are never disappointed because we get what we want and have no problem asking for it. Perhaps another way to put it is that we are both “only child” – “I want what I want when I want it and the way I want it”.
Sometimes the paddling is erotic, but sometimes it is just needing to feel the paddle on the bottom. You know what I’m talking about – that pleasant sting that stays with you for a while and brings a smile to your face.
Choosing the implement – MBS recently did a Brunch asking if sound was a factor in a spanking. For most it was not that important. What interested me was that only a few bottoms had any say about what implements would be used.
Bacall continues: It is common for us to ask for certain implements to be used. Sometimes, one of us will suggest a toy and the spankee will counter with the desire for another toy. Since we spank each other to give pleasure, it makes sense to honor the bottoms needs. Sometimes I will just take my favorite paddle to Bogey and say this is what I need.
Oh, and yes we both like the rifle report sound made when a paddle strikes a bare bottom in a live room. Bacall really likes it when she gets the paddle to report on my bottom. I will hear something like “That was a good one”.
In our new home, the acoustics are very live, especially in the kitchen and den.