Foolishness since 2007

Foolishness since 2007
Foolishness since 2007

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Reader Mail

A reader wrote:

I wish there were more resources on the net focused on erotic or sensual F/M spanking, just that part of the equation for couples that wanted to try it rather than the more common "faux discipline" or "DD" approach. I think my wife would be amenable to such bedroom games, but not being a spanko herself, figuring out the verbal and mental play side of it would be the challenge.

I wish there were more erotic or sensual spanking sites too. The best, to me, remains My Bottom Smarts. But, that’s not what you really want as Bonnie is only about M/F. OBB, tries to fill the exceptionally small niche of erotic or sensual spanking for switches. But, we don’t have the skills that Bonnie has.

That said, you may well being under-estimating your wife’s ability to role play. Women are far more adapt at this than men. Your job is to set the stage so that’s it’s fun for her. The first time will not be perfect, nor will the 20th time. But, you will have fun along the way, if you encourage her and never ever criticize. Why not cuddle up and talk about this with her. Not the whole enchilada at first, just enough to get started. You have been nursing this fantasy all your life, she needs time to understand it.

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Readers know that Bacall likes to paddle me OTK. And they also know that I don’t care for it. She likes to paddle fast when I am OTK and it overcomes me and wilts my erection. Several times a year I offer myself to her OTK because I know she likes to paddle me in that way. Some men give flowers, I give her what she wants and she knows it’s a sacrifice.

A reader wrote and asked why she likes it so much. I thought I would go to the wellhead and get an updated response from Bacall.

Bacall’s reply:

According to Bogey, I get a big smile on my face when I take him OTK. I have never really tried to think about it. Maybe it's because I am in total control - mostly. After all, he is a lot bigger than me and will bolt after a certain amount of "fun". Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining because we each have our limits and tell the other when to stop.

[Bogey interjects: Please note that last sentence. We sometimes tell each other when we want a spanking, often with which implements and how many licks. We can also say that’s enough at any time. We don’t safe word and don’t try to take more than we want. For us, it’s not so much different than asking for a back rub. The fact that we don’t employ spanking for discipline and that we have rather agile minds that can fill in the blanks allows us to enjoy spanking as we choose]

Bacall continues: The control is mental, for a certain period of time he is mine to command. I have no desire to "be in charge" of another person, but for this brief period it is a true high. I get to take charge of the more dominant of the two of us and what a thrill. [Sounds like Top’s High to me]

To which the reader replied:

Seems natural that most women would get excited at the opportunity for a little role reversal and taking charge. Of course if one is a natural spanko then all the normal results of a good spanking like seeing and feeling a bottom heat up under your hand, hearing his reactions to getting a spanking from you, feeling him squirm and kick over your lap as you lay the spanks on, knowing you are absolutely in control, etc... are a huge part of the turn on as well. Just makes it a wonder more women aren't into spanking from that side of the lap doesn't it?

1 comment:

  1. Sensual spanking is a very interesting topic indeed! Like Bacall and you, Bogey, my partner Ludwig and I only play for fun and as a part of our sexual life and don't have any real-life domestic discipline relationship. We sometimes use real-life events in our play, but usually just as an idea for an interesting storyline. And even if we use something that really bothered one of us as a starting point for a spanking scene, the spanking only takes place after everything has been talked through and after both of us have agreed that we feel comfortable with using the event in our spanking play. It's more like make-up sex in this case, marking the end of a quarrel and showing that everything is okay again. The spanking then can also be a deliberating experience, especially for the partner who has been upset, but still it remains a scene and we don't really hold each other accountable for any flaws.

    I think I can relate to Bacall's fascination with the OTK position and the feeling of power she described. When Ludwig switches, he isn't into the OTK position because it reminds him of domestic discipline and that isn't a scenario he likes. And he isn't into hand spankings either, for the same reason. But when he allowed me to try several implements on him a while ago (not OTK, just bent over, hands on the couch), I asked him whether I could try my hand as well and it was okay for him. And I have to admit that I enjoyed the hand spanking the most! Why? I think it was because of the close body contact and because of the feeling that I elicited beautiful reactions from my partner just with my hand and without any implement. I guess that the feeling must have been quite similar to the feeling of power Bacall has when paddling you. I'll most probably never spank Ludwig OTK because he doesn't enjoy it and it is not that important for me. But the reason why it would have a certain appeal at all is the idea of having such a close erotic body contact with my partner during a spanking. That's why I like the position as a bottom as well. I don't know whether the closeness is a reason why Bacall enjoys the OTK position so much when topping you, but I can imagine that (in addition to the feeling of power Bacall described) this might be one important part of the experience as well!


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