Foolishness since 2007

Foolishness since 2007
Foolishness since 2007

Saturday, February 6, 2010

How Can Punishment Also Be Sexual?

Bonnie recently had the topic is spanking inherently sexual?

Responses like these confuse me:

Absolutely, positively, and always. We use spanking in different ways in our relationship. Whether for fun, stress relief, or punishment, underneath, the sexual aspect of spanking is always there.

I would read sexual overtones into even a punishment spanking. Done in love, for my own good and given by the woman who loves me, how could it not be sexy to be corrected and cared for in such an intimate and physical way?

I can accept that pain can eliminate desire; but if the memory of the session is stimulating, then I can not buy into it being punishment. Readers, how can real punishment also be sexual? Or is it an oxymoron.


  1. Hi there. That 1st comment you copied was mine. I will try to explain, although if something does not resonate with you then it just doesn't.

    1st, everything between us, my husband and I, is sexual, at some level. There is a basic sexuality that hums quietly between us, too low to be heard most of the time, but if you are very still, you might notice it is there. Whether you notice it or not, it is.

    2nd, while a P in and of itself is never sexual, never fun or exciting, the fact that he cares enough to discipline, that he can and will dominate, that he considers me HIS to discipline, that I WILL submit even though I don't want to, that TTWD is powerful enough that it pushes past all intellectual reasoning to a basic and quite primal dynamic powerful and has a sexual is a yin and yang experience.

    That doesn't mean it feels sexual at the time, that either of us is turned on (well, I can only speak for myself...I sure am not). But there is a lot more to sex than sex or being turned on. Sexuality is so much broader than sex. I would never allow another person to spank me other than my husband. He would never spank another. It is all tied up with marital intimacy and what we are to each other. There is a sexual component and you cannot separate out husband lover, friend, disciplinarian. None of those roles stand alone, but are inexorably meshed. At least for me.

  2. "Sexuality is so much broader than sex".
    Wish I had said that. :D
    Well done!
    Off topic yes, but if anyone has the opportunity to see "Crazy Heart", I would say do so.
    Life on the big screen rarely (for me anyway) portrays the circle that translates to the "ying and yang".
    Jeff Bridges reached deep into his soul for this performance would be my guess?

  3. First, thanks for your remarks Sara. I have read them three times. I understand the words, but I am too dense to understand.

    I will continue to turn it over in my wee brain and try to post again on the subject.

    In the mean time, perhaps someone else will take a shot at making me understand.

    PS, I was thinking only of erotictism in my post.

  4. Well, we don't do discipline, but in my tiny brain, I always pretend that each spanking is a punishment. That's what makes it a turn on for me. It's as simple as that.

    Having said that, I have no idea how I'd react to a real punishment spanking. A harsh word makes my whole world cave in.



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