This a very intimate conversation. Unlike first time sex, the first spanking by a new partner is normally preceded by a fairly detailed explanation of what is desired. I always had this conversation with women I was going to spank before we got down to business. I expected that one or more details would not be mentioned and I always tried to deduce what it was and surprise them with it.
I have had far fewer conservations with women who were going to spank me. But, every time I have had one it was quite intimate and very exciting to me. If it was a face-to-face conversation she could tell it was exciting for me.
I think these talks are one of the few times men and women let their guard down and express what they really feel. Perhaps, because we have carried these desires around in our heads all our lives and we were finally fortunate to have someone who understands and will not judge us.