More of we all so different. In their own words
I love erotic spankings, but they are not the stuff of fantasies. No, for me, it's the good old-fashioned, "you've been a naughty girl and now I'm going to teach you a lesson" scenario that makes my knees go weak and my tummy turn to butterflies.
Here are the elements of a real spanking that make it so much hotter:
In a real punishment spanking, the submissive is not in control (I'm using submissive rather than bottom, because, as I learned at Eroticon, a bottom IS in control of their spanking). Because the sub is not in control, the risk level goes up, and with it, the heat.
2). Shame/emotional content
If I am receiving a real punishment spanking, there will be emotions involved--remorse, shame, etc. This goes in hand with humiliation, but it's a slightly different shade. I don't know why, but both shame and humiliation play a huge role in making a spanking hot. In general, the emotional content bound to be present in a punishment spanking will naturally up the ante (now we're back to risk, above) and make it hotter.
My HoH is a gentle man and doesn't like hurting me, so he tries to err on the side of caution. Usually, he stops a minute or two after I start really crying, but I could probably take much more. For me, a hard spanking is somehow easier to take once I start to cry, probably because I am more in acceptance of the fact that my naughty tush is getting tanned no matter what, and nothing I can do or say will change that. At times, the spanking will go on just long enough for me to start thinking of mean names for my husband and then stop. He always makes me look at him before deciding if I've had enough because if I'm still glaring or pouting back over I go. I can't hide my emotions!
From a DD blog, I did not record the name
…over and over: every night, in my husband's bed, used for his pleasure and precisely not for my own, degraded but made worthy by that very degradation, marked out most shamefully as his property.
From a DD blog, I did not record the name
I have spent and do spend most of my life being the one in control. Perhaps you have already gathered, that I am as much a control fiend as you are; I am just a little more subtle than you! I love the power and hate it at the same time. I hate being the one that has to make all the decisions ALL the time....So to turn around and give that control over to someone else I trust, means so much to me!! You say that you get tired at the point where I am about to break.........but it's not necessarily the whacks on my bottom that leave me marked that gets to my head......it's the control that someone TAKES from me!!! Tell me what to wear.......tell me what to do.........watch me while I change........watch me as you order me to get on all fours.....you'd be surprised at how submissive I can be in that kind of safe environment. But just because a man wants to TAKE it, doesn't mean I always trust enough to GIVE it. And to date....... I have never really given too much to anyone.
Perhaps I am NOT a "true" submissive. I LOVE and ADORE the power exchange........one week you're the Dom.........the next week I am....but to find someone who can play both roles is very unusual........you have no idea how many times I would have loved to have stopped you in mid sentence.........bend you over........ and paddle your fanny like you've never been paddled before!! You would be surprised at how many times I have used the massager/vibrator thinking about such things........ You are a rarity because I don't switch with anyone else.....haven't found anyone else that is stronger mentally than I am, so I can't go there with them.
As for the BDSM aspects of my play............ I don't need anything fancy. I love the spreader bar you made; the prayer bench went right to my head before I even got an opportunity to bend over it. And actually I would prefer to be tied up with ropes.....ties....etc. than any fancy wrist cuffs. And spanking would always have to be a part of the play. I am not into bondage, just for the sake of being tied up. That doesn't do anything for me. It's WHY I am being tied up that gets to me......
Okay so what does all of this really say.........I have lots of ideas for "good girl scenes" in my head..........here's one: First of all, we are going out to dinner. You tell me what I am going to wear - even down to which panties to put on. Throughout dinner you tell me what is going to happen to me when we get back. Not in full detail but in snippets. When we get back, I am given an OTK warm up spanking. Then ordered to go into the bedroom and take off my dress (leaving on my bra and panties) and wait. On the dresser are laid the implements of choice - a paddle, crop, cane and a switch. I am told to bend over the bed and you paddle me, first over my panties and then you remove them and paddle me on my bare bottom getting in some pretty hard licks. I stand up and remove my bra like I am told to do and then place my hands behind my head. You pick up the crop and tease me with it.......stroking my thighs, whacking my bottom and in between my legs. Then I am tied down with rope.....to either the bed or prayer bench (!!!).........spreader bar placed to keep my legs apart........and my wrists are tied down...........You grab the cane and give it several whooshes through the air before it lands on my bottom. The cane is just the warm up for the switch..........after being caned and switched........you untie me and tell me to get on the bed on my back, legs apart........you bring out the the massager............and then I go from sub-space into outer space!!!!!!!!!!
And right now, I am headed to find my vibrator........I am a little turned on by all these naughty thoughts!!!
More to our way of thinking
One of the themes of this blog is my struggle with the concept of punishment. I have embraced, rejected, embraced, and rejected the very idea of punishment. I have rebelled at the idea of naughty school girls, because in reality, they should have better guidance than a cane over wet panties. I have rebelled at the idea of domestic discipline - a marriage is a partnership, not an opportunity for abuse. I have even rebelled at the idea of tops and bottoms, dominants and submissives, because I welcome spanking but I have a say in what happens to me, in what is right and wrong for my body, my mind, my heart.
Abby Williams – The Little Red School House