Foolishness since 2007

Foolishness since 2007
Foolishness since 2007

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Straighten Up And Fly Right Up

"Straighten Up and Fly Right" is a 1943 song written by Nat King Cole and Irving Mills and performed by The King Cole Trio.

It was adopted as phrase to improve one's behavior or attitude and perform better. If you want to keep out of trouble, you had better straighten up and fly right. As in Straighten up and fly right or I will send you to the principal.

Preformed by Nat King Cole.

A buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air
The monkey thought that everything was on the square
The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off of his back
But the monkey grabbed his neck and said:

"Now listen, Jack
Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.


Ain't no use in divin'
What's the use of jivin'
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."

The buzzard told the monkey "You are chokin' me
Release your hold and I will set you free."
The monkey looked the buzzard right dead in the eye and said
"Your story's so touching but it sounds just like a lie.


Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."


(instrumental interlude)


"Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and stay right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Paddled in the sanctuary

Kinky sex in the sanctuary, embezzlement and racy photos are causing scandal at one of San Francisco's oldest Catholic churches.

The accusations flying out of the National Shrine of St. Francis of Assisi have led to the 'comprehensive investigation of alleged improper behavior' involving the shrine's volunteer chairman, William McLaughlin and admin- assistant, Jhona Mathews, 33 - costing them both their jobs.

article-2513247-19A4B6D000000578-709_306x423

According to shrine spokesman, Larry Kamer, a police report was filed last week alleging that Mathews had stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars from the church. Mathews, in turn, has filed a sexual harassment claim against the church, alleging that McLaughlin forced her to have sex with him inside the church's sanctuary.

'McLaughlin spanked her and forced her to engage in sexual intercourse with him' in order to keep her job, alleged Sandra Ribera, who is acting as Mathews's attorney.

'Paddling with a wooden paddle, getting spanked in the sacristy of the shrine of St. Francis, which Catholics know, it's just appalling to hear as a Catholic and having sexual intercourse in the shrine of St. Francis,' added Ribera.

McLaughlin, who is believed to be in his 60s and is a wealthy Marin County real-estate developer, acts as the chairman of the shrine's volunteer program.

Comment Moderation

Some graffiti artist’s descended on our little blog Sunday and I elected to turn on comment moderation. In fact, one of them even suggested that I do so. Bless their little black hearts.

So comments will no longer show up until I can approve them, which should normally be the same day.

However, anonymous comments are now allowed. No blooming third party cookies are needed to comment on OBB.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Sunday Morning

So you think you spend a lot of time thinking about spanking. Being a switch I probably spend even more time on the subject.

I woke up needing to paddle Bacall. She had promised oatmeal for breakfast. I heard her from the kitchen say “ut oh, I am in trouble”. I found that she had allowed the supply of steel cut oatmeal to fall below two servings. And then she had the audacity to ask if I wanted that mushy crap that comes from a Quaker Oats box. Now I not only had a need, I had a reason. I told her to put on a girdle with hose as I would be paddling her. She doned her apparel and I paddled her. Then we watched CBS Sunday Morning. Then I paddled her again. After lunch I paddled her again. I think I have got it out of my system. Of course tomorrow is a another day.

bacall 11-2013a bacall 11-2013b

This goes out to Ken and others who like a girdled seat.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Packing A Paddle

camping16 Getting your bottom toasted outside is a special treat for a lot of us, top, bottom, male or female. We have paddled each other in quite a few places over the years. Sometimes a few pops. Other times, we enjoy a more extended session. This year, I had planned to paddle Bacall in the woods, tied to a tree. But, we never got to a place where all the requisite conditions came together. Trees with smooth bark so as not to scratch the skin. A clean forest floor devoid of briars, etc. Reasonably level terrain, paddling on a steep hillside is no fun. Maybe next year.

We have walked in the woods with a small paddle in my back pocket or in a backpack; stopping frequently to paddle each other. I read about a new way, to us anyway, to carry a paddle. At a spanking party a female top carried a small paddle tucked under her bra on her side. Hidden, but easily accessed with the right sort of top on. I like that. The man might be thinking, she is not packing, so it will be a hand spanking. And then presto. For me, it works as well to have the woman carry in her bra and produce it on demand. She would be constantly aware of the paddle and what is going to happen to her.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Once Upon A Time

Today is a very special post, a fictional story by Bacall. I asked her to write a f/m story and this is the result. I thought it was pretty good for a first effort. Of course, she knows all my hot buttons, such as bending over desks.

 

Being a female principal at a prestigious high school for the pampered children of the wealthy can be stressful.  I had to pass several rigorous test and interviews by the board of the school to make sure that I was capable of such a job.  Once the job was mine and I had proven my abilities, the board gave me discretion in the hiring of teachers and staff.  All employees have to have excellent references which are thoroughly checked out.  After all, you can just have any one exposed to these pampered teenagers.  We must all be firm, but yet flexible with our charges.

Sometimes, these almost young adults get too full of themselves.  They expect everyone to bow down to their wishes and demands.  It is hard to discipline this kind of student.  I must admit that on several occasions, I have had to resort to physical punishment to keep these students in line - both boys and girls.  The funny thing is that the students respect the staff.  Therefore, I have few discipline problems.

One things that I did not expect was discipline problems with a male teacher.  Don’t get me wrong, he is an excellent teacher.  He is very knowledgeable about history, but then he should because he does have his PhD, as do most of our teachers.  The students love him because he makes history come alive.  But, like the pampered students, he seems to think that he is in charge of the school.

I have had to call him into my office many times about his behavior.  The last time he was in my office, I told him that he would definitely follow my rules or I would either suspend him or paddle him.  He was quite shocked that, first I would question anything that he did and second, that I would paddle him.

Obviously, Dr. Wayne, the aforementioned teacher, thought I would never carry out such a threat as to make a educated, grown man bend over my desk, while I paddled him. 

Obviously, Dr. Wayne, the aforementioned teacher, thought I would never carry out such as threat as to make an educated, grown man bend over my desk, while I paddled him.  It wasn’t a week later that Dr. Wayne once again flaunted my rules.  After the last classes of the day were dismissed, I called him into my office.  I gave him the option of either the suspension or paddling.  As it turns out, Dr. Wayne squanders his money and could not afford to miss a payday, so he opted for the paddling.

I lectured him on the importance of obeying my rules and went into my closet and took out the large wooden paddle that I keep for “special” cases, and he was certainly a “special” case. His eyes got very big, his mouth feel open and he blushed.  I know I should not say this, but I knew it was going to be fun for me.

Now for his next big shock - I had him lower his slacks.  I could tell that he wanted to refuse, but he knew that he could not.  He bent over my desk and I gave him six good pops then stopped.  I told him to stand up, which he did and reached for his slacks.  I told him “not yet”, that he had to take his underwear down. The blush deepened and he apologized profusely, but that did not deter me.  I gave him six more very strong pops until his bottom was a bright red. 

At this point, I told him that it was over and he could pull up his underwear and slacks.  Without any prompting from me, he promised to never again disobey my rules.  I am happy to report that Dr. Wayne is now my highest performing teacher and he encourages all other teachers to obey the rules and perform well.

Men Bent Over A Desk And Paddled

Bend all the way over the desk and hold on to the other side and don’t move.

fm007 copy fm118 copy

fm154 copy fm230 copy

fm337 copy fm339 copy

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Post LOL

LOL Day seems to have sucked all the air out of the room. The blogs I regularly read have been silent the last two days.

I found it interesting that we got comments from women who have DD blogs. I would really like to know what they find of interest here. I am serious. Perhaps one or more will take the time to educate me. It would be enlightening.

The comment I treasure was posted by a lurker. [All of the other comments were made by fellow bloggers. It seems that LOL Day is more about bloggers than about lurkers]

Yours is one of my favorite blogs. Not because you switch (I don't), but yours is just the joy of spanking without any reason. No discipline (unless play - Just the fun/play of spanking (and the excitement).
I rarely post because most blogs seem to always involved correcting behavior.
OTKRob

Rob gets what OBB is about – a small niche blog with poor sentence construction and healthy dose of fun.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Never Judge A Book By It’s Cover

zgoat1

Some folks will see this cute little goat pictured on blogrolls and figure this post has nada to do with spanking - that there are no pictures of cute gals getting their bottoms toasted. I am such a devil.

sharon

Rollin Hand has set some of his stories in the mountainous area of the Georgia where this spanking took place. Is that a short plaid skirt pulled up to expose her black garter belt, panties and hose? It sure looks like she dressed up expecting to be spanked. Bacall well knows his lap and large hand. Remember the decor. There will be a quiz later.

sharon2

She changed clothes, venue and spanker, but her bottom is still red.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

LOL Day


Dear Gentle Readers,

The most popular Blog for spanking enthusiasts, My Bottom Smarts, has called for the annual Love Our Lurkers Day. 

Bacall and I encourage all three of our regular lurking readers to post to as many spanking Blogs as they can. It does not matter what you say, anything would be most welcome. No need to be clever or witty. The experience will be self-rewarding. 

Our own level of participation may be limited because it’s either impossible to post a comment or it’s PIA to try. How so you ask?Well, something has changed in the last few months. All I know is that for an ever increasing number of blogs our signon is not recognized on blogs with a comment box like the one on MBS. Cookie settings? I don’t know, but if you wonder why we no longer comment on your blog, it’s probably because our signon is not honored. The other reason is those damn catcha grams. It’s not worth the effort.

Cheers, B and B



Garage Sale - Free Toys

We have cleaned out our toy box and offer these implements to you for the cost of shipping. Claim one or more and I will have the Post Office quote the postage from our zip to yours and advise you before shipping. Payment can be made by Paypal, check, cash or in some cases a spanking. Grin.
All have been used. Some show some wear. Others are like new. Just seems a shame to toss them in garbage. Christmas is coming and one of these may be just right for someone you know.
Any one of them can be shipped to anywhere in the US for less than $10. Postage is based on weight, size and distance. I would guess that more than one of the lighter weight items could be combined with only a dollar or so more in cost.
Send email to mybottomburns@gmail.com. No, we will not divulge your identity or show up on your doorstep.

Photographed with a foot long ruler to show size.
birch paddle
Round Birch Paddle – 1/2 inches of burn. Very nice finish.
black terror 
Black Terror – Leather covered wood in a purse size. 1/2 inch thick.
bundle of canes
Six 20” inch bamboo canes when silence is needed.
doubled over strap
Almost a foot of doubled over leather. One end is braded for a good handle.
 county sheriff
The County Sherriff – Not as bad as it looks.
hairbrush2 hairbrush1
A hairbrush with a good and not so good side.
holey paddle
You want holes? 3/4” thick. On the thuddy side.


instructional paddle
Custom made, instructional paddle. 1/2 inch thick. On the thuddy side.
kitchen
Started life as a pasta spoon. Stings like a swarm of bees. Excellent for a thigh fry.
latigo strap
Three fingered latigo tawse. Pleasant sting.
pig slapper
If you go to a farm supply store, it’s called a pig slapper. The flaps on the business end make a nice cracking sound. Gives a warm feeling. Also have a well worn black one.
round paddle
Round Birch Paddle – 3/4 inches of deep burn
seat warmer
Small sized handy seat warmer. 5/8” inch thick. On the thuddy side.
 spoon on side spoon1
A specially carved spoon. Slightly dished out to allow the spoon side to cup the bottom. Burn and thud in one toy. Have two!

P1010251
Light weight Flyback paddle in pink. Light sting, might be for used for a warmup.
P1010253
Adjustable nip clips
P1010252
Adjustable Blindfold, “fur” pads

Monday, November 11, 2013

Girls In Yoga Pants

I was looking at a non-spanking web site other day that has links to articles of interest to me, such as science, history, culture and always some pictures of women, some nudes. I don’t share his tastes in women, but once in awhile one will catch my eye. This one sure as heck did. Takes my breath away. Even the lovely Bacall did not have this when she was 25.

Girl-in-Yoga-PantsIt was labeled Girls in Yoga Pants. I decided to Google that phrase and see if there were more. Hell, yes. I keyed in ‘Girls in’ and Google suggested ‘Girls in Yoga Pants’ with 44 million links. I looked at a few of the sites, but saw nothing as dramatic as the one above. I have seen a few of these pants in the wild, but I had no idea how popular they were. I am just commenting on and trying to catch up with the culture. You pervs can Google for your own well shaped bottoms in yoga pants.

yoga

How about a Willie classic. He is backed by an orchestra with strings. His Trigger is not in sight.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Mainstream Spanking?

I look at Bryan’s photo blog whenever he posts. Some of the pictures, such as this one, leave me a little drop jawed.

I see two women holding toddler's so it’s some kind of family event. But, what?

wtf

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Panty Drawer

A lot of men have spent time rummaging in women’s panty drawers. I am one of them. Not a lot of time rummaging. And not a lot of drawers, but I am guilty. I should be spanked. If I had a older sister, I am sure I would have reached the level of depravity required to go through her panty drawer. 

In f/m fiction, being caught going through panty drawers or wearing panties are popular reasons for a paddling.
I would like to know how many men have worn panties at one time or another. Maybe I could get a grant to interview women to find out their knowledge on this.




Miss Chris

I have always been open with Bacall about my love of panties and thankfully she accepts my fetish. She likes the feel of my bottom through panties as much I enjoy rubbing my hand over her bottom when she has on some silky ones.

We have long enjoyed going panty shopping together. It’s a cheap date. We often buy matching panties, then go home and paddle one another in them. Call it extended foreplay. We decide to it, drive to a store, shop, and then drive home; the anticipation building all the time.

One time, she wanted me to paddle her in every pair she had in her good panty drawer. We didn’t make it. After a half dozen pair or so, I ravaged her. The girl has too many panties. hmmm, I don’t recall her ever trying the same with me.


panties couple10

I had this post uploaded for publication. I woke up this morning and realized that I had wanted to take a picture of us in our new panties. So I put a pair on and walked in the den where Bacall was reading. She admitted that she had been thinking the same thing. So she put on the other pair and we paddled each other. And then did you know what. A fine way to start the day. Panties and paddling go hand-in-glove.



Thin are they?

Monday, November 4, 2013

Stolen Mime

Bacall's answers are first. Got it? Bacall is on top.

The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?

Someone fun, inviting us to go someplace fun

Ditto

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?

Sometimes, if it's close

I will walk 30 yards, not much more

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?

A talker, but trying to be more of a listener

Ditto

Do you take compliments well?

I always smile and say thank you.

I either silently accept a compliment or just say thanks.

Are you an active person?

not really

If my feet would still allow it, I would be more active

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive?

No

I could survive for a few days in most environments. In an arid region, I would probably not find water.

Did you ever go to camp as a kid?

Yes

No tent camping, but at hunting camps

What was your favorite game as a kid?

I don't remember playing any games

Cowboys, baseball, blowing things up

A sexy person is pursuing you, but you know that he/she is married, would you?

No

Would I have an affair?  No. But I would enjoy the attention and it could be in front of Bacall

Are you judgmental?

Very

Oh Yez

Do you like to pursue or be pursued?

Pursued

Ditto, just lazy

Use three words to describe yourself.

Loving, kind, good friend

Sharing, too full of myself, and too critical 

If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?

Deaf.

Ditto

Are you continuing your education?

No

Yes, audit graduate courses

Do you know how to shoot a gun?

Yes

Former marksman, now I try to point the end with the hole in it away from me 

How often do you read books?

Every day

Constantly reading

Do you think more about the past, present or future?

The present and sometimes the future

I am more in the past. I don’t worry about the future.

What is your favorite children's book?

I loved Nancy Drew Mysteries and the biographies of our early American history

I devoured Tom Hardy books

Where is your ideal house located?

where I am

Pacific Palisades, over looking the bay

Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties or grannies?

briefs now 

Some days boxers, some days briefs, some days panties

Last person you talked to?

Our daughter

Ditto

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?

Yes

Yes

What are your keys on your keychain for?

House, car and RV

House and car

Where was the furthest place you traveled today?

14 miles to a luncheon

No plans to leave the house today

Where is your current pain?

None yet

My back and right foot

Do you like mustard?

Yes

Yes, very much

Do you prefer to sleep or eat?

Eat, then sleep.

Eat

Do you look like your mom or dad?

Some of each or so I'm told

Not at all. Ringer for my paternal grandfather.

How long does it take you in the shower?

About 5 minutes

Less than 5, unless Bacall is with me

What movie do you want to see right now?

Captain Phillips

Ditto

What did you do for New Year's?

Same as any other night

No more all night bashes for us. Sometimes we go out for dinner with friends

What was the cause of your last accident?

Myself

Yep