Foolishness since 2007

Foolishness since 2007
Foolishness since 2007

Monday, August 20, 2012

A Venus and Mars Deal

How do I say this? I have never seen this discussed. Not trying to put down anyone. I just want to talk about some differences I see.

I have long said that after two people agree that they both like spanking, that’s pretty much the end of complete agreement. There are just so many branches that can be taken.

The theme of many spanking Blogs by women authors is DD, HOH, etc. The male is the leader in the relationship. When the woman is spanked, forgiveness and romance follow.

This is less true of spanking Blogs where the woman is leader of the relationship. For many, but not all, of these blogs, it seems that the woman does one or more of the following, withholds sexual gratification from the male, keeps him locked in a chastity cage, requires him to use his tongue on her, has sex with another man while he watches, etc. all with the complete agreement of the man.

Honey, I need to be locked in a chastity cage for weeks at a time and then have a ruined orgasm.

We don’t get it. I suppose we don’t get it since we don’t have a submissive bone in our body. Women who desire to be submissive and disciplined, do not want to forego sex. While some men who want to be submissive and disciplined want to give up traditional sex.

I just can not imagine a woman who would say something like this. While I get femdom, to a point, I just can not imagine wanting to forego traditional sex.

I-dont-get-this-femdom-stuff_thumb1_

Have you noticed the plethora of pictures of women that are captioned with improbable things?

Just saying there is world of difference between how some submissive males and submissive women mix spanking and sex. A Venus and Mars deal.

How do you see this?

14 comments:

  1. Different strokes for different folks. I don't understand the sex deprivation thing either, but it's common in both male- and female-dominated relationships.

    It's definitely not for us.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I learn something all the time. I have not come across a Blog with a male leader who withholds sex.

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  2. I have to agree I don't quite understand the withholding of sex but as Hermione says were all different. Not for us either.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. I've not seen a male-dom blog where sex is withheld. In fact, it's usually mandatory... ;-)

    On the fem-dom side, withholding of sex seems to be just another method of controlling the male, although some like to insist on compulsory oral gratification for themselves, if not for the sub. Not my cup of tea...

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  5. Many male doms insist on limiting the number of orgasms the female sub can have, make her ask permission to come, or ask permission to masturbate. It's all part of the control dynamic. Not my cup of tea!

    Hugs,
    Hermione

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK, I have told Bacall she could not come until I said she could and continued to toy with her for another few minutes. Her come was off the scale then. As I recall, she started that by asking me if she could come - wanting me to take control for a fleeting moment.

      Delete

  6. Hi
    My response such as it is:

    Am I a spanko - yes.
    Would I like to be in a relationship where each spanks the other - yes.
    Am I in such a relationship- no. My wife does not like to be spanked
    Am I a submissive in our relationship - yes. I like to be dominated at home because I have to be the leader in the outside world and in any case I admire and respect women and think they are stronger than men.
    Does being a submissive lead to me being spanked and ergo satisfy mt spanking needs -yes.
    Do I think that the woman should dictate when men have sex - yes.
    Do I think that mt wife should dictate when I have an orgasm - yes.Because I am the submissive and her pleasure comes before mine.
    Am I complicated spanking basket case - yes.
    Do I get enough spanking - no. Spankos never have enough spanking in their lives. it is an all consuming passion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >Do I think that the woman should dictate when we have sex - yes.
      >Do I think that women should dictate when I have an orgasm - yes, because I am the submissive and her pleasure comes before mine.

      Neither one of us would give up the right to when to orgasm or when to have sex. Just not us.

      >Am I complicated spanking basket case - yes.
      Aren't we all? LOL The difference I talked about in this post points out yet another complication.

      >Do I get enough spanking - no, spankos never have enough spanking in their lives. it is an all consuming passion.
      Happily, we think we get enough. I have known some gals that never got enough. ie at parties, one man after another for say 6 to 8 hours and more the next day. They just float on endorphins. We like it once or
      twice a week. We might have liked more in our 20's, but work got in the way.

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  7. Hmm... I'm learning a lot from all this...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are too. Differences in degrees of submission and gender differences also.

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  8. I'm always amazed when men don't want sex. Lol. In the bedroom, I've played on both sides of things with control, but it's usually just a momentary thing like you mention in your comment of being told to wait to come. That can be hot, but the idea of long term withholding such as chastity devices is not my thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have encountered men who do not want sex??? Tell us more.

      Chasity is not for us either, but it seems a lot of cages are sold.

      Delete
  9. I'm all for controlling the moment- to me that's hot but not out and out denial- but its like everything in this TTWD realm- it's what ever works for you. But I admit that Femdon dynamic leaves me an Mr. FH scratching our heads.

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Feedback is always appreciated.