Foolishness since 2007

Foolishness since 2007
Foolishness since 2007

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Father Hilliard’s Abbey of Correction for Wayward Lasses

I always liked the scene where Bill leaves Beatrix Kiddo to be trained by Pai Mei. What if he had left her at The Abbey of Correction? Let me describe the mission of the Abbey.

When a young lady exhibits petulance, bad temper, irritability, crabbiness, peevishness, grumpiness, tantrums and the like, it is often symptoms of problems that must be treated. However before treatment of the root cause can commence, atonement must be made for the childish and inappropriate
behavior. The goal of the Abbey is to ensure that a young lady always behaves properly.

The proscribed penitence for such behavior shall be both stinging palms and posterior by application of instruments explicitly designed for the purpose administered directly to the bare skin. It is the desire of the Father that sufficient discomfort be experienced so that the petitioner shall thoroughly
reflect on the error of her ways. If after the application of punishment, the Father is not entirely convinced that the petitioner is completely repentant, the punishment shall be repeated.

Some young ladies believe that false bravado, showing that they can endure their punishment without any outward sign of repentance is desirable. They are most mistaken. The punishment is meant to cause temporary pain and unless their distress is manifest, the Father believes that they are acting in a defiant manner and additional punishment is required.

The punishment for petulant acts shall be as follows: At the Father’s behest, the supplicant shall raise her skirt above her waist, both front and back, and it will be secured in that position for chastisement. At this
time, the Father will discuss her behavior with her and detail her punishment, which shall consists of no less than two wholehearted strokes with a stiff leather strap on the open palm of each hand. The strapping shall be followed by the supplicant standing facing the wall with her feet spread, about two feet from the wall, She shall then lean forward and place
her hands on the wall at eyelevel. She will tend adjust her body posture at the Father’s direction until he is satisfied that her posterior is thrust toward the center of the room in the most advantageous manner so that the paddle strokes contact on the most tender area. Depending on the severity of the offense a number of firm paddle strokes will then be administered.

Shall the Abbey expect any new arrivals?

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