I think some degree of humiliation is desired by some tops and bottoms. It’s mutually beneficial when both desire the same. Bacall and I don’t happen to need it. Not sure if there is anything that would humiliate us. We are rather comfortable within our skin. If we did not want our grandkids to know more about us than they need to know, you would see pictures of us.
It could be that something that would have humiliated/embarrassed me at some point in my life no longer would. One of my first instances of preadolescent body embarrassment was when I was changing into my swim trunks on our houseboat. A family friend happened into the common cabin area while I had my pants down and I was mortified that she could see my bare bottom which I was trying to cover. As she retreated from the area, she remarked that it was my other side I should be covering. That was an epiphany for me.
All of my young life women, Mother and teachers, had been interested in my backside. I can not say I had sexual feelings about my bottom, but I knew I did not like female attention to it as it was always painful.
I tried to humiliate/embarrass some women I have spanked. It did not always work as they were blasé about exposing themselves in say the diaper position. With others I tried public nudity, flogging before a group. Nope, they reveled in being nude and showing they could take whatever was handed out. A few times, I was able to take them where they wanted to go, but it took careful listening, pondering and thoughtful action.
When I was 20-something, I would have been highly embarrassed if anyone, other than Bacall, knew that I liked to don panties. That was much more of a secret than my enjoyment of being paddled. Now, it not a big deal with me as I have found that women are accepting of the practice. Evidently, they have known men who wear panties and are inured to it?
The only paddling position that gives me a little embarrassment is knees and head on the floor with her standing over me.
It’s hard to get to an Alpha.
I would like to talk with a large group of women who have had extensive dating experience about their experiences with men who like to wear panties and be spanked. I would think I would need to talk to all age groups about this. Anyone out there that can write and obtain a research grant for me to do this?