Here is a depressing post on masochism and submission. I think submission taken to the extreme is masochistic. But, what do I know? Dr. Bogey
We read that spanking is becoming more and more mainstream. Perhaps so. I hope so. However, Google Sexual Masochism and you will get definitions like those below. Not all that much different than is found in DSM-IV. …derive a sexual pleasure from being abused and dominated by women [note the absence of the other gender]…persons with sexual masochism have a recurrent preoccupation with sexual urges and fantasies involving the act of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer. Sexual masochistic practices are more common among men than women. [Really?] Freud believed masochism to result from destructive fantasies turned against themselves. In some cases, persons can allow themselves to experience sexual feelings only if punishment for them follows. Persons with sexual masochism may have had childhood experiences that convinced them that pain is prerequisite for sexual pleasure. About 30 percent of those with sexual masochism also have sadistic fantasies.
Sexual masochism is a disorder in which individuals use sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors involving the act (real, not simulated) of being humiliated, beaten or otherwise made to suffer in order to achieve sexual excitement and climax. These acts may be limited to verbal humiliation, or may involve being beaten, bound or otherwise abused. Masochists may act out their fantasies on themselves -- such as cutting or piercing their skin, or burning themselves -- or may seek out a partner who enjoys inflicting pain or humiliation on others (sadist). Activities with a partner include bondage, spanking, and simulated rape.
Sadomasochistic fantasies and activities are not uncommon among consenting adults. In most of these cases, however, the humiliation and abuse are acted out in fantasy. The participants are aware that the behavior is a "game," and actual pain and injury is avoided.
From Psychology Today:
Sexual masochism falls under the psychiatric sexual disorders category of paraphilia's, meaning "abnormal or unnatural attraction." Sexual masochism refers to engaging in or frequently fantasizing about being beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer, resulting in sexual satisfaction. Blindfolding, spanking and humiliation in the form of defecation, urination, or forced imitation of animals are other methods used by these patients. Masochists may inflict their own pain through shocking, pricking or choking. Approximately 30 percent also participate in sadistic behavior.
One particularly dangerous method is called hypoxyphilia (near-asphyxiation) caused by reducing oxygen level in the brain. This results in the accidental death of one or two per million people per year. To achieve near-asphyxiation, masochists might place a noose around their necks, chest compression, put airtight bags over their heads or use amyl nitrates ("poppers").
Sadomasochistic relationships tend to be well planned, with partners deciding on a special word the masochist will use to indicate that the sadist should stop.
I don’t agree with much of the above because most of us don’t take it to extremes. I don’t equate pops on the bottom with hypoxyphilia. I feel good about sex, with or without spanking.
But as I wrote in the post on Submission a few weeks back, some of us can take anything a little too far and find ourselves discussed in the DSM, which is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Lee Holloway in Secretary would be found there because she was a cutter. Did you see that movie as being mainstream? I enjoyed the movie, but Lee was very troubled lass.
Confession: I once paddled a shrink. Not just once, but several times over a period of several months. I should have known better. But the op to paddle a freshly minted Doctor’s round bottom was more than I could resist. I came to find out that she was under a doctors care to sort out her own baggage. She had to maintain contact with her therapist in order to continue hold her license to prescribe for her patients. Oh boy, how did I manage to get here?
I am sure I was discussed when she talked with her shrink. The problems I saw were her inability to enjoy any sort of sexual pleasure. But on the other hand, she did not enjoy pain either. Only the fantasy of pain. Only the fantasy of submission.
She went on to destroy herself.
You folks be careful out there with submission!