I have always thought that giving a wanted spanking to be a kindness to another. Like a back rub, it’s not something we can do very well for ourselves.
Like sex, the desired frequency of spanking varies between partners. I think of the scene in a Woody Allen movie, where he describes their sex life; “We hardly ever have sex, maybe two or three times a week”. She tells the doctor “We have sex all the time, two or three times a week”. And so it is with spanking.
It so easy for one partner to get caught up in other things and forget that their partner needs a spanking. I suspect this is more of problem where the spanker is vanilla and spanks just for the pleasure of their partner. Spanko’s think about spanking every day, while vanilla’s may need some kind of reminder. This makes me think of the stickers they put on your windshield to remind you to have the oil changed.
Bacall and I have always shared the same frequency for sex, while our spanking schedules are not as closely aligned. She will always take a spanking if I want to give her one, but left to her own schedule she likes a spanking about every ten days. I like a spanking about every four or five days. If only one of us is needy, it easy for the other to forget.
There are ways to communicate a need for back and foot rubs as well as for spankings. Saying I need a spanking is direct and is Bacall’s natural method. I do it also, but I also communicate by putting out a paddle, a note, or wearing panties. I don’t have panties like these, but I am sure they would work.